Completely You

“When are you going to finish your review,” read the text message from the one sent from heaven to hold me accountable. And where was I? In the nail salon! A girl must always  keep her hands well manicured. That’s a girl’s eye rule! Don’t forget it. Anyway, he may or may not have thought I’d forgotten I owe you a part two, but I had not.

First, here are quotes from a couple of comments about the last post and/or the movie itself:

“This is a thoughtful review and a reminder that what Hollywood is feeding our young ladies must always be filtered through our own values.”

This so true. We MUST take it upon ourselves to give our young women the truth of our own values and beliefs. If we don’t, make no mistake about it Hollywood will always be waiting with a star-studded fork to shove their truth right down our princesses’ throats. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Hollywood. If you’ve been journeying with me long enough you know I even had dreams of moving to La La Land (Los Angeles, that is). There’s always been something about Tinsel Town that stimulates the creative turtle diva in me, begging her to come out of her shell. Being a follower of Jesus Christ doesn’t mean I think everything about the place is rotten. But I do know we must be vigilant about making sure we know where our truth comes from and filter everything else through that truth.

“…I definitely saw pieces of myself in some of the characters(male and female). It made me reflect on how much I’ve changed and how God has kept me despite my repeated foolishness in relationships.”

O.M.G. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I wrote those two sentences myself. When I read those words it sure was refreshing to find I’m not the only one singing “look where He brought me from…” Well maybe you don’t know that old church song, but believe me, while watching the movie I had many a moment where I was thinking, “here is a good place where that old song doth apply.”

I saw one main theme displayed differently between each of the women in the movie, yet prominently throughout. It was the theme of VALUE. Here’s something you will hear me say time and again: You can tell a lot about a woman’s worth or how much she subconsciously believes she is worth by the type of unhealthy relationships to which she will allow herself to fall prey. We easily see the reflection in romantic (semi-romantic, wanna be romantic, she THINKS romantic, etc) relationships with men or even general friendships with other our girlfriends. However, for the purposes of this post we’ll stay with the theme of the movie and talk about the romantic relationships.

The darling divas in the movie represented well from one end of the value spectrum to the other.

On one end: We have a woman who gives herself away in sexual encounters with a man or men who barely even or can’t at all remember her name after the deed is done. Awaking to shame and regret, she often feels helpless to break the cycle. That’s because she’s looking for something – validation. She’s desperate for someone to let her know she’s worth more than she’ll ever even believe and to treat her accordingly. Now whereas a good man can certainly serve as God’s “man on the ground” for this, a woman must ultimately come to know her priceless value for herself. Otherwise, attempts to convince her will be futile.

On the other end: There’s the woman who swings so high on the corporate ladder until she feels the only man worthy of her attention is a man swinging equally as high (or, of course, higher) on his own ladder. Is her view of her worth overly inflated or is she just “not settling,” one might ask? Those are pretty good questions. Maybe topic for debate here one day.

Raise your hand if you can (from your past or your present) relate to either of these scenarios – maybe one more than the other or another scenario somewhere in between. My hand is raised and waving like a crazy woman, because I certainly can. Praise God for His grace, mercy and unending patience as I’ve struggled to learn who I am and how valuable I am.

As I think about it, I guess Steve Harvey’s movie did address this flaw in women, albeit indirectly. Although I’m not interested in learning how to think like anyone else (I have a hard enough time simply being me), the movie prompted me to check my personal worth-o-meter and see what the reading is these days. For me to get an understanding of how much I’m truly worth and begin acting accordingly, I first had to consult the One who I believe created me. He certainly knows what value He placed on me and means for me to have. I’ll admit, it’s a constant process, though. There have been seasons of embarrassingly low measure on my worth-o-meter as evidenced through all sorts of relationships and situations – friendships, employment relationships, and of course, relationships with men. One day I’ll have to share with you some of the ways God has taught me about my value. I’m sure a few of His unique ways will surprise you, because they sure surprised me.

For now I’ll let you go, but I hope not without prompting you to consider what your relationship choices say about your value. Especially if you’re one of my unmarried girlfriends… Ask yourself this question:

Do my relationship choices confirm that I am priceless or diminish my value?

Hmmmm…. See you in the comments.